26 September 2009

Trucking through

I haven't been doing anything really special to either spend less or pay off more, mostly because I'm at a point where I don't feel that there is much left to do. My ex still hasn't been giving me anything towards our debt, which means that I'm way behind in paying down that balance transfer card. I just keep reminding myself that there are a few good things on the horizon, and hopefully things will get better.

One thing that isn't actually different but FEELS different is that I'm not really getting upset when he doesn't give me anything for the debt. Yes, I'm marking it down, and yes, I plan to take him back to court again if I don't start seeing something from him by the end of the year, but instead of being physically sick over it, I'm sort of just... okay. I feel fine, unaffected. I even bought myself a game for the Nintendo DS I got for my birthday last year, and I feel pretty good about it.

However, I do have to tell you that Target is clearancing everything out of the store right now, and I have every intention of heading there tomorrow for some stocking up on things. That pocketbook thing to carry my work stuff that I was lusting over a few weeks ago is 30% off, and so are lots of things like sheets and bookshelves and stuff. Two years ago I found mattress covers for twin beds for 9 bucks that have served me well since, so I'm hoping for some things like that. And there are always birthday and Christmas presents to start keeping an eye out for. So I'll certainly update tomorrow on any amazing deals.

Life goes on. It always will. The trick is to move forward to the good stuff without getting held back by the bad. It's not always easy, but this is the one and only life we get, and I for one don't want it to be less than fantastic because of other people.

19 September 2009

Between now and then

I found out yesterday that in December I'll be getting a nice chunk of change. My yearly wage increase was delayed because of the state budget, and so in December I'll be getting my raise- retroactive to the Spring! Also, I submitted for reimbursement for my work trip to Chicago and that should come through in December. So even though right now I feel broke and stretched to the bone, at least there is something to look forward to.

So in the meanwhile, I need to figure out how to deal with that money, so I don't blow it all on Christmas presents or celebratory shopping trips. I don't know what the total amount will be, so here's what I think I will do:

  • The reimbursement for travel will go right to the credit card. I may need to use that money for my next conference, so if I do I will just charge it with the same card and kind of roll that money over.
  • The raise and lump sum payment will "top off" whatever I'm short on for Christmas presents (plan for that is still forthcoming). The remainder will go to replenish the emergency savings account, and what ever is left will go to the credit card with the zero interest rate.

Not exciting, but sound. And the work trip in January will tie me over in the travel lust department!

16 September 2009


I have a wicked head cold. My face feels numb! I think my body finally relaxed after the court date. So far things have been fine, except I'm still totally pissed and disappointed in my ex's parents thinking I wasn't being straightforward about money. Grrr.

Need to go to bed.

14 September 2009

Back from court

I'm home. It went pretty well, things started off rough with lots of arguing on his part, but I kept my cool (except for the fire red cheeks I'm sure I had) and stood my ground and told the truth, and when all was said and done, he realized that he really did owe me money.

The mediator said that I could go forward with the drug testing, but since he has supervised visitation, and since I can refuse him visitation if I think he's high, there really wasn't any point. But, interestingly enough, he refused to do it anyway, and the mediator said "your refusal tells me you are still using drugs." I had to laugh (not out loud!) at that. Of course it does.

So in the end, he agreed to pay me back that money within 6 months, and I showed him that I will stand up for myself. We had a nice talk afterwards about getting along and communicating, and I think this was very good. I'm also so, so glad it's over.

Thank you for all of your support, it really means a lot to me.

13 September 2009

Holding him accountable

I did something really scary. I went down to the courthouse a few weeks ago, and filed a motion of contempt for the missing debt payments, the missed visitations, and the drug use. And now the court date is tomorrow and I'm freaking out. like FREAKING OUT. He's mad at me for this, his parents are mad at me (or at least I think so, since they are being weird and cold and not helpful when I ask them if they have any idea why he's not paying me), and I'm scared.

I'm also representing myself, since I couldn't afford the lawyer. So I have a big stack of bank statements, credit card statements, and a huge excel file that shows how much he paid each week and how much he owes me.

The court time is 9:30 (EST) tomorrow so I'll update afterwards, but if you read this, please keep me in your thoughts/prayers/wishes tomorrow. I'm scared and I know it will help to know people are behind me on this.


05 September 2009


You'll never guess what happened!

The ex shorted me 50% of his weekly money. I know, shocker. And then, to add insult to injury, he asked me proof that I've been paying the bills. This is hilarious because a) of course I've been paying them and b) when I added everything up I realized that he actually owes me 6000 dollars. Yeah.

The reason he's doing this is because I finally got fed up a few weeks ago and I filed a motion of contempt to have him held accountable for his missed support, missed visitations, and to have him drug tested by the courts. And he's MAD. So what.

After I got off the phone with him, I felt defeated. Maybe I should just file bankruptcy. Then I won't be dependant on him any more. Maybe then I could actually be happy and enjoy my life. I don't know. I decided to wait until the court date (9/14) to see what happens. Then I'll make a decision.