19 August 2008

the harsh reality of having debt, or this freaking sucks

The reality of debt is that you can't afford to have the things you want even though your technically making enough money to have them. Right now, things should be okay for me. I make decent money and my husband comes through with his child support every week. But since we have all this debt, I spend most of my money on debt payments. Money I could be saving, putting towards goals, and enjoying my life with.

The job I have now is my first "professional" position. I have my own office, and I have my own house (even if I rent). Ideally right now I'd be gearing up to buy this house, perhaps living on a similar budget but socking that debt money away for a nice downpayment. As for my office, I really want to decorate it. I bought a flowerpot for the windowsill today to do so, and all I could think was a) that 9 dollars should have gone to my debt, and b) if I didn't have debt, I could be buying this pot, and whatever else I wanted, guilt free. In short- this sucks.

I'm starting to get frustrated. I don't feel like I'm making progress lately because I took some time off to save up that emergency fund. And I got a raise, but its all going towards oil for the winter. I, like many people, am feeling like I just can't get ahead. I don't know how much more I can pare down before its too much and I lose heart entirely.

Maybe I'm just hormonal right now, or I just need that next big bill payoff to rev me up again. Luckily, I think that is at the end of this month. So, yeah. Up yours, citibank.

3 comments:

LauraC said...

I think it's really easy to get burned out on paying off debt. Perhaps you can budget some "fun money" every month to treat yourself? If it's in the budget then maybe you won't feel guilty.

I know it's hard to always thing long-term on goals. You've already come so far.

manda said...

dont give up now...your doing so well. i tend to agree with laura give yourself some YOU money!

mary said...

yeah, i agree! because while budgeting $50 fun money a month will make you $50 further away from paying it off each month, JUST $50 is much better than saying, "screw this!" and potentially blowing a lot more money. It's like dieting without allowing yourself a tiny bit of ice cream here and there (for me anyway....). just keep reminding yourself of how well you've been doing. treating yourself to a little bit each month is important.