- Flu. Rating: F. Expenses: Trip(s) to doctor (copays, gas), medication (copays, gas), "sick" foods like chicken noodle soup and ice cream; tissues, cough drops, magazines or movies.
- Cold. Rating: C-. Expenses: OTC medication, possible trip to the doctor, "sick" foods, tissues, etc. Duration is shorter than the flu, offsetting some cost.
- Pink eye. Rating: B. Expenses: Trip to doctor, medication, mockery by friends and strangers.
- Stomach Flu. Rating: A+. Expenses: None. Benefits: Can't drive anywhere, can't eat anything, can't do anything. Lost 4 lbs in one day.
Needless to say, I'm glad it was #4. Stomach Flu that I managed to contract on Monday night. I saved a day's worth of gas and food, and my pants fit better. Score!