18 October 2008

putting things off that shouldn't be put off

For those who asked, there's no court order. Our court date is Oct 29, and I've been dragging my feet on it because a) I don't want to "rock the boat" with him, and b) everytime I go to get the paperwork together, I panic, big time.

I'm scared of all of this. I'm scared they are going to let him have unsupervised visitation, even though I know and my lawyers knows (and everyone else agrees) that the court won't give a confirmed drug addict unsupervised visitation with a 2 and a 3 year old. But nevertheless, it freaks me out.

This apartment freaks me out. The last time he lived alone he was involved in some really bad stuff. It was a long time ago, before we were even together, but he's not that different now, obviously.

Yuck.yuck yuck yuck.

I'm going to Target today to get Halloween costumes (my MIL offered to pay, I love her). If I see those shoes I wanted, I'm freaking buying them. The last time I bought new shoes was when I started working full time again! Seriously! I'll be freaking damned if I let him screw up everything for us. Freaking damned.

(Deep breath).

1 comment:

Krista said...

I can't even imagine what you are going through. Vent away anytime you need to!

Be sure to ask for random drug tests. A friend who is going through the same thing has the right to call and have them call his ex in for a test anytime he feels it necessary. She missed one (an automatic fail) so she had to submit to a blood test.

Even though she has supervised visitation, it makes him feel better.