06 July 2008

Charge it at Target, or, The Call of the Mall

Damn it! I am not entirely sure what is wrong with me lately, but I have been spending a lot more money than usual. I'm sure part of it has to do with the fact that I've been feeling really down lately, because of some issues that are going on with my soon-to-be ex. After going to the Gap on Thursday and spending 89.00 on clothes, I went to the mall yesterday and bought my 3 year old some underwear (12.00) and lunch for all of us (30.00). Then I went to Target today, and spent another 80.00. I bought 2 shirts for me (one of which is going back, it was 13.00), a tshirt for Mikey (the 3 year old), a puzzle for Mikey (he's sick, which is why I think I'm buying him stuff, plus I told him that he is probably feeling better and should stop talking about it and my Mother in Law gave me a really nasty look which made me feel worse, even though he likes to say he's sick when he isn't... ugh. Mommy guilt.), a pair of shoes for work, a set of Pyrex baking dishes with lids, a box of garbage bags and some diapers for Max. These were all things that I needed, but didn't REALLY need, which is why I feel so guilty.

My friend reminded me that being frugal doesn't mean not spending ANY money at all, but I still feel like I messed up. I have been thinking and thinking lately about how I really should have cancelled my cable and internet for this year, and probably my cell phone or at least downgraded to a cheapy one, but I didn't. I guess it didn't seem worth it to me, but now I feel like I didn't really go all out with this. Maybe I'm just being hard on myself because I'm feeling down about other things, in which case it should get better soon, but for today, I feel like I effed up. So, sorry.


Devra and Aviva said...

Look it happens. And you know what? Kids have the best attitude about that when it happens. We say, try to ditch the guilt and embrace the "Do over!" We hear kids say it all the time, but as adults we just aren't willing to cut ourselves slack when we trip up or fall short of where we think we should be.
Please take a step toward the Do over and consider this your absolution from effing up, which is something all of us do! Plus, you were at Target, not Cartier! Could have been far worse, no? : )

Jenny said...

Don't be so hard on your self! I agree with devra and aviva. You didn't go and spend money on ridiculous things you didn't need like a diamond bracelet or an expensive pair of shoes. You bought items that were reasonably priced. You are changing your way of spending in other ways so don't beat yourself up. Though we are all allowed to feel like poo at times!

Kimberli said...

Jaime - As someone who does partake in retail therapy WAY TOO OFTEN, I'll tell ya... you're doing JUST FINE. You didn't eff up. You're doing great. and Mikey shouldn't say he's sick if he's not. Sounds like he could use that puzzle though... we all need a pick me via Target or the mall sometimes...

As I say this, I'm planning a trip to the mall tonight! Haha!! Clearance at Carson's, here I come!

Love ya! Don't beat yourself up!!!!

Anonymous said...

Sorry, previous comments were being nicey-nice. You are going to sabotage your goals if you think this is OK. I am not saying to dwell on it with guilt, but you do have to analyze it and figure out what needs to happen so that you prevent it from happening again.

$30 lunch - were you STARVING and couldn't wait til you got home? Been there. From now on - there are pretzles in the glove box, know what I mean?

Puzzle for your sick son - honestly, you can't buy his health. Next time, pull out an old toy he hasn't seen in awhile and play with him. Don't forget what they say - MOMMY is his favorite toy.

Etc. Etc. Etc.

Don't throw in the towel over this, but do learn from it.

Good luck! I just stumbled across your blog, and I will be watching you!

Jaime said...

To the last poster, I totally agree. I didn't NEED to buy any of those things, it was all emotional. Lesson learned! poster-

manda said...

I too have been spending a TON. I need to get the will and drive that you do!