I don't really know how to say this, so I'm just going to come out and say it. I think we need a break. It's not you, it's me. Ever since I started the Year of Frugal Living, I just haven't felt the same way about you. I mean, we have so many great memories, but lately I've just felt like you're sort of, well, a bad influence on me. It's like you bring out this wild side of me that I just don't think is a good thing. Maybe when things are different, we can see each other again. For right now, I'm just asking that you stop sending me those letters every Sunday- you know, the ones with the sexy pictures. I think we both know you're hot, you don't need to advertise it. Honestly, it just makes you look cheap.
Anyway, I promise I'll stop by to see you once in a while, for the kids' sake at least. Take care of yourself.