12 July 2008

shopping for vices

I don't talk about my personal life all that much, this blog is really about this frugal living mission, but I do talk about my kids and my divorce sometimes. To make a long story short, my soon to be ex husband has some problems that became serious and made it a bad idea for me to stay with him. So, there's that.

Most likely due to my little baby turning two, and the one year anniversary of my marriage breaking up, I've been really down lately. Historically, when I'm down, a fall into a bad pattern of vices, and this time was almost no exception. The shopping that went on last week was certainly some retail therapy (that ended up making me feel worse), I even started smoking again (I smoked before I got pg with my oldest) but I stopped that, too. I stayed up too late, went to bed too early, didn't eat at all, and ate ice cream all day. Typically, I would temporarily feel better from doing any of these things, but I didn't this time.

I will never forget the day, when I was 21, poor, living in Providence, RI, and feeling really depressed. That day I thought that yoga might be my salvation, and during a trip to Whole Foods, I saw a yoga mat. I spent $30 on that yoga mat, and since I was poor, I charged it on my credit card. If I were to trace that charge, I'd be willing to guarantee that I'm still paying for that yoga mat. I've probably paid $200 for it, after interest and finance charges and long ago late fees. At least I still use it, but there are plenty of things I don't still use, but I'm paying for. That's enough to drive anyone to drink (a vice I am luckily not indulging in, because I have my kids to take care of).

If it were now, and I wanted to do something new, I would know better than to impulse buy it. I would see if I could borrow it from the library or a friend, look on ebay or craig's list. I would blog about it on here to get it out of my system. Maybe I'd even decide I still really wanted it and I'd save up the money. That's all good.

Now I just have to figure out what cheap vice I can have now that will make me feel better. I'm thinking walking/running. We'll see.


lil sis said...

yes, exercise! it releases endorphins! very good for you!

manda said...

Wow what inspiration 75 pounds...With all that you are going through your drive and determination really drives me. Your vice can be keep blogging I think a lot of people read your blog and really get inspiration for their own good.

jennymsw said...

I agree with lil sis. Exercise is definitely a great thing for your mental health and it's free! I find the days I don't go to the gym in the morning are usually my toughest days. I would love to go walking, running and/or hiking with you.

I also agree with manda... you are amazing at the blogging and hopefully one day you can turn it into a book.

Free vices are tough to find. And unfortunately, not as fun as vices that cost money. :-(

On a frugal note, I thought of you on Friday night while I was in the city. I spent $9.50 (yes, you read that right) on a pack of cigarettes!! I didn't plan ahead and ran out in the middle of my night of drinking. It was horrible!! I feel dirty for it!

Anonymous said...

run and run some more! It is a great stress reliever, it is good for your heart, it clears your mind and well, I could go on forever on the benefits. You can do it!

Dana said...

wow.. I could have written that post! Vices.. shopping is one for me too (read my blog from this past Saturday!) The first step is acknowledgment. A divorce is very hard. Everything in your life that you thought was going in one direction suddenly goes in the opposite. Stay strong.
Now is the time you need Jesus even more :)